Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
