who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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