$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
im holly from the hills drunk
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
