i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
