No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
