so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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