I think my vagina is haunted
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
