Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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