don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
