and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
