If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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