I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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