do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
