i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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