Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
