Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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