I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
