Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
