Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
