In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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