So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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