Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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