You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
