I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
