I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
