You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
