good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
