Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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