Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
