It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
