I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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