is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
