hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
