best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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