She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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