If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We have started to decorate penises.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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