Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
