I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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