dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Boobs are out for the taking
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
