bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
