I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize