then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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