You work out of a Hotel?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
