You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
