spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
