I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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