# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
