tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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