I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
