If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
