I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
