Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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