K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
