i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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