Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
