you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Randomize
