I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
