Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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