turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
