I bet he comes in French.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize