just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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