So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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