My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Someone shattered a urinal.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
