There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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